LEONARDTOWN, Md. – Tina Yakel has three loved ones buried at Charles Memorial Gardens. The Leonardtown cemetery serves as the final resting place for her son, brother, and cousin.
All three suffered from a rare genetic disorder called Pelizaeus-Merbacher Disease. Those affected by the disorder are unable to walk or talk and require 24-hour care. Her brother passed at age 24, her cousin at age eight. In 2004, son Jeremy died at only five years old.
Yakel said she took special care in selecting the cemetery. “That was the main factor in choosing that plot. We wanted the freedom to decorate and do what we wanted. We had other family in cemeteries outside the area that were very strict. We definitely didn’t want that.”
The grieving mother also wanted just the right headstone. Yakel didn’t want anything too adult. She chose a simple image of two little angels giving an third his halo. For her, it represented her brother and cousin welcoming Jeremy to heaven. She said she didn’t select a headstone with an attached vase because she knew vases and other forms of decoration were permitted at the cemetery.
Rules Allowed For Landscaping
Yakel provided a copy of the rules she received when she purchased the plot. Dated December 2000, the document says that flowerbeds, rock gardens, statues, and benches are permitted with permission of the management.
While borders around graves are allowed with permission, fences are banned. There’s also a warning that season decorations will be removed two weeks after the holiday.
The landscaping is limited to 2 feet in front of the headstone and 1 foot on each side. Yakel said she asked for and got permission to plant items and install vases at her son’s grave. In her experience, she says the cemetery never turned down a request to personalize a grave. The rules do state they are subject to change without notice.
Found Out On Facebook
Ms. Yakel said that all changed with a change in ownership last year. She wasn’t notified of changes in the rules and learned about them from a Facebook post. “I decided to drive up there myself and noticed how bland everything was. My address is still the same as it was when I bought the plots, there was no reason I could not have been reached.”
She discovered that three in-ground vases she’d installed at family members’ graves were gone. In their place, holes in the ground. “I had three of them and they were all pulled out of the ground. It left foot-deep holes in the ground. They said it was a safety issue but how is that safer?”
Missing from Jeremy’s grave was a statue of a little boy angel and solar light shaped like a bumble bee. His mother said the new rules changed the entire feel of the place. “It’s just always been known as the cemetery you could personalize. You knew when you went in there it was going to be homey and comfortable. You could walk around and say, ‘Oh that guy liked fishing or that guy was into NASCAR. It never seemed spooky or creepy, just bright and comfortable. It would make you smile to see the dump truck on somebody’s grave. To know that people were visiting and that they cared.”
Depressing Sight
Yakel said the cemetery is falling into disrepair. “It was always so nice and so pretty. Now there’s ruts and mounds and sunken earth. It’s really depressing. It’s morbid to see the way they’ve left things in such unrest.”
She hopes that the new owner will reconsider. “It seems like there has to be some kind of middle ground between nothing and everything that was there before.”