HOLLYWOOD, Md. – When COVID-19 hit the United States, nursing homes and assisted living facilities had to make the best decision they could in regards to the safety and well-being of their residents and staff based on the limited knowledge they had about this worldwide pandemic.

Perhaps one of the untold stories of this virus’ outcome is the loneliness and isolation faced by many of our country’s elderly in the midst of this pandemic.

Many people’s lives changed dramatically in March 2020, and my parents are no exception. On March 12, my sister, Theresa, was notified by the assisted living facility where my parents were living in Ellicott City, MD, that she would no longer be able to visit my parents. The facility was closing to visitors the next day-with no one coming in-and no one going out. Residents would be confined to their rooms. That meant no more meals in the dining room or activities in the social hall. It also meant limited human interaction. Caregivers would drop meals off to the residents, give them their medication and make sure they were doing ok, but everything was going to be very different.

So, my sister got in her van, drove to the assisted living facility, gathered as many items of my parents as she could, including both of their wheelchairs and essential items needed. She drove them to Hollywood, in St. Mary’s County, to the home they built in 1948, but had not lived in since 2017-when it became too difficult for them to live independently. The process was laborious. Everything had to be set back up and rearranged for a 91 and 92-year-old who now required around-the-clock caregivers, “Care with Grace”. The staff was exceptional in helping to set up and orchestrate this lifestyle change.

Our family was one of the very fortunate ones. We had an option that many families didn’t.

We have since learned that some of the residents of the assisted living facility that had become my parents’ friends in this home did not survive. And it wasn’t due to COVID-19. Many residents just gave up. They no longer had anything to look forward to. There were no family visits, no exercise classes, no interacting at mealtime. Loneliness and depression set in, and for many, hope was lost. This is just another negative consequence of this pandemic. How many of our elderly are still feeling this effect?

Of course, the social distancing has been difficult for most of us, but for those living in nursing homes and assisted living facilities, things have been even more challenging. It’s heartbreaking to know that your parents could die alone and afraid.

Even if the pandemic ends soon, my parents no longer want to leave their home. The thought of being left in a room most of the day without seeing anyone is frightening to them. Not seeing children and grandchildren is sad. Our family has every intention of keeping my parents in their home (with 24-hour care). We are very fortunate to have caregivers working with us and that my parents are able to be in their own home. They have been married for 72 years and they raised ten children. They are also blessed to have twenty grandchildren and sixteen great-grandchildren. They, as well as all of our elderly loved ones, deserve to live out the rest of their lives surrounded by love and companionship.

For the many who were not given this opportunity, or were not able, to take parents out of their nursing homes or assisted living facilities, please keep in regular contact with them. The human touch is so important. If you have loved ones that you are unable to be with in person, a phone call, a Zoom session, FaceTime, a text message, a hand-written note or a card can truly uplift their spirits. Perhaps you are able to send small gifts as tokens of your care and concern.

Some nursing homes and assisted living facilities have a sponsor-a-senior or sponsor-a-resident program for those with few, or even no, loved ones left. Please contact your local nursing home or assisted living facility if you’re interested in getting involved. Little things we do to stay in touch can definitely make a positive difference as we all try to navigate through these unchartered waters of COVID-19.